A phenomenon I’ve never witnessed before is currently happening on the quarter of a mile gravel road that leads to our driveway. The first time I spotted it, I only saw movement out of the corner of my eye. Thinking it might be a snake, I backed up ready to go into action if it was less than a helpful one. (I know, many of you might be thinking, there are no helpful ones of this species.)
To my shock and surprise, what was sitting there, nestled on the hard grey stones was a killdeer. At first, thinking this bird might be hurt, I carefully got out of the car to move toward her. All at once, she stood. Fanning her wings, neck outstretched, her eyes met mine with the most defiant menacing stare, bird or human alike, I’ve ever seen. For camouflaged amongst the stones were three round, grey-speckled eggs that blended perfectly with their surroundings.
I could hardly believe it! I didn’t know what to think. Typically, this bird will lay her eggs in a short-grassed meadow. Or even on a flat rooftop of white pebbles.* So, either she was one of the smartest ones around, using the sweltering heat of the sun beating down on the driveway to speed up the hatching process, OR was one who had lost her mind. How could she ever think this was a safe place to have her babies? How could she hope that raising her wings in a protective stance or staring down an oncoming car could help? To me, this was beyond all comprehension. Until, I realized, that is what we mothers do all the time.
Like that bird, we try, every which way we know, to protect, shelter, and shield our children—even our grown ones—from the dangers and pitfalls of life. Often it’s because we have been there and done that, experience leading the way. Or, perhaps the God-given innate sense that allows most women to look ahead and see what can go wrong kicks in. Truth be told though, like that bird, our best defenses are not enough.
So what are we to do?
- Pray, pray, and pray for wisdom of how to use God’s gifting of seeing what can go wrong, before it happens. Pray for when to coddle and when to let go. For when to say yes and when, with firmness, say no. (As a side note, Jerry says the reason women are more proactive protectors in this area than men are, is because where women sense problems ahead, men plow head-long into the fun of the adventure.)
- Seek the counsel of someone who is further down the road of raising children. Even though I parented mine in the dark ages before the world-wide-web, it was so encouraging and wonderful to get sweet advice from my mom or a trusted older friend. The blessing of not having the knowledge of social media at my fingertips was the comfort of walking through a challenging time with someone I knew who loved my children and me, of talking with someone who could point out what was important. Had the killdeer bird asked me, I would have told her to nest some place less open to danger and much less obvious.
- Finally, throughout our lives, from beginning to end, from wise choices to the ones that aren’t, we need to trust God. Like the situation the killdeer has placed herself in, many times because of our limited perspectives, we find ourselves sitting on a similar nest where life is beyond our control. We can’t see what is coming our way or what the next second will bring. Thankfully, God can.
Jesus tells us in Matthew 10:29-31 NLT
“…But not a single sparrow can fall the the ground without your Father knowing it. And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows.”
This is amazing, astounding, and reassuring news. God is watching over us AND has also given us to each other so we can pray for one another while bearing each other’s burdens.
So from the time I saw the killdeers’ naive choice of where to birth her young, I joined with her offering her protection as best I can. When I know someone is coming to visit, I tell them to steer clear of the right side of the road and when they leave, I give a friendly reminder to watch to the left for this little bird. But most importantly, I’ve started to pray. I know God can protect this little friend far more than I ever will be able to.
There is nothing better than this. In God’s hands, she is in the best she can be. And so are we.
Kimberly
* En.wikipedia.org. (2018). Killdeer. [online] Available at: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Killdeer [Accessed 18 Jun. 2018].
,Love this blog, Kim! So well written and poignant!