Have you ever been in a spot where you’ve been badly hurt and try as you might, you just can’t seem to forgive the offender? No matter how long ago the egregious wound was given and how many times you’ve tried to move on, it just seems the wounding won’t heal. That’s where I found myself recently. It was as if the pain that stretched before me was an unending valley of ache. Have you ever been stuck there?
Christians talk about forgiveness all the time. It is the key that opens the door to healing the brokenness of our hearts and our relationships. The agonizing cycle of granting it though, can feel like the song that never ends. We want to give forgiveness, but try as we might, when the memories circle back around, we find—that like a sticky spider web—we’re still tangled in the pain of gaping wounds. Even those we thought we had left in the dust of our past.
I imagine that’s what happened with Corrie Ten Boom when she came face-to-face with one of her Nazi S.S. guards. (If you’re not familiar with her book, The Hiding Place, I highly recommend it.) For years—unknown even to herself—she must have carried deep gashes within that came to the forefront of her heart only when the guard, who had come to the Lord while listening to her at a speaking engagement, sought her out to thank her for telling about the Good News of the Gospel. From what she wrote of her response when he approached her, the realization that unforgiveness lived in her heart, brought her to her spiritual knees.
Be it large or small, all of us have needed to forgive someone for something.
So, what does forgiveness really look like?
It can only happen through Jesus. On our best day with the best intentions, any inkling of forgiveness can only be birthed when we realize that without Jesus, it is not within our grasp to give. If we try to manufacture it, it won’t happen. Left to ourselves it is not a possibility.
The passage from Corrie Ten Boom’s interaction with her guard is a clear picture of how the Lord brought about Godly forgiveness in her heart.
And it is the same place where all of us must come to if true forgiveness is to blossom within us.
“It was at a church service in Munich that I saw him, the former S.S. man who had stood guard at the shower room door in the processing center at Ravensbruck. “…He came up to me as the church was emptying, beaming and bowing. “How grateful I am for your message, Fraulein.” he said. “To think that, as you say, He has washed my sins away!”
His hand thrust out to shake mine. And I, who had preached so often to the people in Bloemendaal the need to forgive, kept my hand at my side.
Even as the angry, vengeful thoughts boiled through me, I saw the sin of them. Jesus Christ had died for this man; was I going to ask for more? Lord Jesus, I prayed, forgive me and help me to forgive him.
I tried to smile, I struggled to raise my hand. I could not. I felt nothing, not the slightest spark of warmth or charity. And so again I breathed a silent prayer. Jesus, I cannot forgive him. Give me Your forgiveness.
As I took his hand the most incredible thing happened. From my shoulder along my arm and through my hand a current seemed to pass from me to him, while into my heart sprang a love for this stranger that almost overwhelmed me.
And so I discovered that it is not on our forgiveness any more than on our goodness that the world’s healing hinges, but on His. When He tells us to love our enemies, He gives, along with the command, the love itself.” *
Like Corrie Ten Boom, we need to humble ourselves before God and confess that on our own we can’t forgive. And like her, we need to ask the Lord to give us His forgiveness for others when we cannot.
Jesus wants us to be free from unforgiveness and its fruit—bitterness, resentment, anger, jealousy, malice, etc.—and be filled instead with His love, joy, and compassion.
Colossians 1:27 LB says it best.
“…And this is the secret: Christ in your hearts is your only hope of glory.”
Dear Heavenly Father,
Please forgive me when I knowingly or unknowingly hold onto unforgiveness. Please cause me to see others as You see them. May Your forgiveness be alive and fresh in my heart. Please fill me with Your compassion and love.
In Jesus name.
Thank You, Lord.
Amen
Kimberly
*Ten Boom, C., Sherrill, J. and Sherrill, E., 1974. The Hiding Place. New York: Bantam, p.238.
“Birthed”—a fine and fitting word for how forgiveness comes to life. He DOES give both the command and the love itself—he knows our dustiness.